Fact: Dogs eat dog food! Fact: Dogs also eat Poison! FACT!

Well Farley has had a couple of troubles this past month. He constantly digs holes to get away from the Idaho heat. They are scattered around the yard in seemingly random places. I am sure he has precisely dug each hole to position himself for anything that comes his way. Mind you, he may not even realize that “thing” has come until it has successfully snuck passed him. These holes can be found: beside the driveway, next to the front porch, aside from the back porch, upon the center of the front lawn, inserted along a grassy hillside, beneath a drift boat, scampered among the flower beds, splattered within inches of a maple sapling, sewn behind the wooden fence, and so on. Clair, my Father finds these holes beyond reason and so seems that they are worth yelling profusely at the poor dog. I must concede alas because his holes are some what of an eye sore. Making the house lose value as each inch is dug. Holes are the least of this dogs troubles. He constantly sheds like a tibetan yak. No matter how many times I brush him he leaves a clump of dog hair wherever he stands. I don’t really mind dog hair all that much, it is easy to brush off. Lisa, my mother finds it differently. She thinks of dog hair as a plague infested spawn of all things evil. Farley is not allowed in the house. Farley is not allowed in the car. Farley is not allowed on the porch. Farley is not allowed to be in the garage. Farley is not allowed to be outside….well you get the picture. Once again this is the least of this dogs troubles. About two weeks ago my mother was walking around the side of the house and discovered a chewed up container that had the most mortifying word imprinted on it, POISON! Well I put two and two together. Farley, Chewed up Poison Container. Farley must have eaten POISON! So I called my dad and asked him what was in the container. We have had some issues of rat like noises inside our house and so my parents had an exterminator come and examen the situation. According to reports(I was not present at the time), A man of crack-head like beauty came and inserted various rat poison boxes in the garage and laundry room. My mother had been working on organizing the garage and had left the garage door open. I am not blaming anyone for the terrible things to come, but you know. Farley-in all his dog like glory- had entered into the world that is garage. He began by digging through a box of food items. He then turned his attention to the rat poison. He ate all 3 or 4 chips of poison inside the container. I went inside after discovering the mess and called the vet. I was redirected to an Emergency Vet Care center in Post Falls(it was sunday so the regular vet was closed). The told me to pour 3 tablespoons of hydrogen-peroxide down his throat to induce vomiting. I felt so bad for doing this to him. He choked it down….and later vomited. We did this one more time. We were still unsure if he had it all out of his system. We then decided to take him in. At the Emergency Vet clinic….I came face to face with the grim reaper. My mother and I walked in and there sat 8 or so people. Half of them were crying, the other half sat very solemn. I helped my mom fill out the paper work and sat down to wait our turn. At this point Farley was acting fine. He was waging his tail and being very Farley. I bet those people sitting there wondered why in “Good St. Alyousus Heaven” we were there. Soon a doctor came out to talk to one of the groups of people. Obviously their animal had not made it. They signed some papers and went in the back. The emerged with a a cardboard box…this animals coffin. Farley was still happy as ever. We finally had our turn. Farley was pumped full of Vitamin K and Charcoal as the antidote to the poison. After a 170 dollar bill we were off. I am just glad that my pupsacord is still has Farley as can be. Also, I would like to point out that Uncle Nicholas and Aunt Emily also wee having trouble with their dog Crosely. They seem to have had it worst. Me and Farley wish Crosley a speedy recovery. Bark, Bark, Bark…Bark Bark Bark Bark.

A note from Farley:

As a Canine I stand tall and proud of my heritage. My mother of pure Golden Retriever blood. My father, the unknown Labrador Retriever that jumped the fence to be with the love of his life. I do not need a Pedigree to known that I am a dog…because I have a heart full of Pride and A stomach full of Canine Crunchies….I AM DOG in all its glory. Behold Farley Farkington the First!


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