Below is a scene I wrote for a Theatre class at school, I had to combine two characters that we had done monologues on. If you could give me some feedback that would be awsome.
START OF SCENE-ON A STREET IN NEW YORK
(music begins to play as the lights come up bright Leo stands at center stage he looks at a “map”, He look s confused and moves from one side of the stage to other in the appearance of looking for street signs, he becomes frustrated and sets his suitcase and map down and he sits on the suitcase, Cassy enters from the side she seems to be in a hurry, but when she spots Leo on the suitcase she stops)
Cassy- Are you alright sir?
Leo- OH..(jumping up and grabing his map)I am glad you stopped, I have been looking for Broadway for the longest time………I think somethings wrong with this map?(Cassy turns the map around) OH it was upside down, that explains alot…….Thank you.(smiles)
Cassy- Looking for Broadway are you?, and reason why?
Leo- OH I want to get a Motel close by all the theatres so as when I finally get my script ready I can just walk across the street and hand it to them(Mimes this whole thing)
Cassy- Oh a playwright! I am just absoulutly exagerated about playwrights!…..(Leo stands with a blank face)You know I am an actress myself. In fact I just came from an audition not to long ago, am sure I have the part smack but you never know.(Leo goes to talk but is cut off)Infact my mother and her mother both actresses, sad story really though, both dead of course now, my grandmother you see well she died at the unfortunate age of sixty seven, she just so happend to be in a fine production of Hamlet at the time where she was playing the Queen or the Jester or something, well anyway she passed away mid stream through the production of the show and she then was replaced by my mother who in the final act of the play on closing night, was actually poisned like the queen, it seems that her vial of water was replaced by an unfriendly audience member with a vial of arsenic, it really was a nasty buisness really but like my mother and grandmother I have found the joy in acting and I plan to kept at it for many years to come, I consider myself a flavourous actress and well you see(Leo this whole time stares at Cassy in amazment)I would just be delighted if you would consider me for a part in you new play, what was it called?
Leo- Oh I didnt say, its The Captains Corridor!
Cassy-(thinking)HMMMMMM! well it could use a name change but so far am very intriged.
Leo- Well I think the name is suitable, especially if its you read it, but am sorry miss am not sure that I have a part for you.
Cassy- Oh dont be ridiculous, theres always room, even if the part is just a mismal one. Although I havent asked, which I should have, is it a musical? (before Leo can answer) Because I dont do musicals.
Leo- Well thats what my play is(trying to cover up his anoyence)its The Captains Corridor a Musical in two acts.
Cassy- Well your going to need to fix that, simple straight play would do faboulously for me.
Leo- I really did have my heart set on a musical and I thanks you for you thoughts but I think I am going to stick to the Musical. My momma always said that if your gunna start something you need to finish it like you started it and wanted it.
Cassy- Your Mother darling dont be a complete dolt, who listens to their mother, I mean look at me my mothers last words before her tragic death on stage was,(wipes eyes in a hurried fashion)(she pauses then blurts it all out) DONT ACT, and look at me now I mean am probably one of the greatests actress’s on Broadway.
Leo-(amazed) Really, oh wait tell momma hears about this.
Cassy- Well of course I have yet to be in any play(pauses thinks)but I know am the best!
Leo- You have never been in a play before?
Cassy-No darling I havent, well only because I havent exposed myself to the public enough.
Leo-(picking up his map again)(looks it over) Which way was Broadway again?
Cassy-(pointing off stage right) That way darling,(leo picks up his suitcase and is about to walk off) Whats the hurry darling, we need to talk buisness before you can cast me in your play!
Leo- Well miss, I havent even finshed my play and well am sorry to say this but I dont see that I would be able to fit you into my play(Cassy looks at her nails) I am sorry but I really need to get going I need to find a Motel room like I said earlier, because I really need to get started on my writing.
Cassy-(all the sudden changing emotions drastically) You know how many people have rejected me(goes to say his name)……Whats your name?
Leo- Leo Davis
Cassy- Leo do you know how many people have rejected me in my life.
Leo- Well I really dont have any idea, but my mother always said that rejection was Gods way of saying that there is a diffrent path waiting for you out in the world.
Cassy-(crying)You dont understand, I have tried everything, I have cried, begged, screamed and I never got what I really wanted, which was a a role even if it was a small role in anything, and well I just thought some one like you just might maybe be kinda and give me my dream, but I guess I was wrong about you.(starts to walk off)
Leo-(at first letting her leave and then looking back down at his map) Wait! Miss.
Cassy-(whirling around witha grin on her face) Yes, oh and you may call me Cassy.
Leo- I………….guess I can………..(hesitates)
Leo- Well I guess…….
Cassy-(pushing)Go on yes?
Leo- I guess you can……….be in my play.(very tired looking after he says that)
Cassy- OH….Its leo right(Leo nods) OH leo you dont know how much this means to me. I really do epreciate it.Well I must be going its getting quite late, you may want to find a Motel room, may I suggest something on Broadway so that you can just walk over to the theatres and hand them your script, well thats my opinion anway. But thank you very much Leo.
Leo- yah!(does this in a fake smile/grin/laugh) (Cassy walks off stage) (to himself) Wow New York what a crazy place! I havent been here more that 30 minutes and some strange lady already became attracted to my pliwrighting allora,I guess it does come from my mother(he slowly wakes across the stage)she has always been proud of me my mother has. I am going to miss her.I do wish that I could have brought all of Oswego Nebraska here to New York with me, but oh geeze could you imagine, Mayor Wimpleton here in New York, he would be like horse in a pig pen(laugs)Hey well I like that!(takes out pade of paper and pin)(writing and speaking out loud what he is writing) LIKE A HORSE IN A PIG PEN! (stopping and looking up as if he was reading a sign) Motel Broadway! well this seems suitable. OH look it seems that they even have radios in every room, ONLY in NEW YORK(gives a hearty laugh and exits between Curtain)Curtain-