Dog Jokes- Make That Cheesy Dog Jokes

How do you catch a runaway dog ?Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone !
What dog loves to take bubble baths ?A shampoodle !
What kind of dog does a vampire prefer ?Any kind of bloodhound !
What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?Wire haired terriers !!
What do you call a happy Lassie ?A jolly collie !
What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?A dingo-ling !
What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?A bud hound !
Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot ?Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw !
What is the dogs favourite city ?New Yorkie !
Who is the dogs favourite comedian ?Growlcho Marx !

What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?”Well, doggone !”
What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk ?A Great Dane out !
What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog ?Chump chops !
What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?A petticoat !
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?A collie-flower !
Why did the dachshund bite the woman’s ankle ?Because he was short and couldn’t reach any higher !
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost ?Because frost bites !
Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ?He was trying to make both ends meet !
Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema ?Anywhere it wants to !
What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?”I must throw that doggie out the window !”!

Why do dogs wag their tails ?”Because no one else will do it for them !”
What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic ?His bark was much worse than it’s bite !
Why do dogs bury bones in the ground ?Because you can’t bury them in trees !
What happened when the dog went to the flea circus ?He stole the show !
How do you know if you have a stupid dog ?It chases parked cars !
What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde ?A jet setter !
Why did the dog wear white sneakers ?Because his boots were at the menders !
What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog ?An animal that barks at low flying aircraft !
Where do Eskimos train their dogs ?In the mush room !
What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog ?Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

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ColdWater

I just noticed a post on my first blog ever from Auntie Cherie, It told me about a story on Grandpa’s blog called “ColdWater” so Iam going to put it on here right know.

John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia.After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!”For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car”. Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted ..”COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!”

Finals!!!!

Today is my final day of finals. With my; English, Math, and Spanish yesterday. Today I only have Intro to Microsoft and Biology. I just gave my Microsoft Powerpoint presentation. I Aced it pretty much. For my Spanish test is was really easy. We had a 100 multiple choice test and then 25 senteces to translate, then 16 oral questions(which were worth 4 points each) I got full points on the oral part, I am not sure about the other ones but I think I did good. English was english and a piece of cake. Math I did better than I thought I would have. Well I am going to luch soon so I hope all of you guys have a good day!

Wish Me Luck on the Science Test!

Ipod or NOpod

So recentyly I have been having problems with the Ipod, on the screen there is something and it blurs the picture. So I called the Apple support center( a good 10 minute wait) the guy was very helpfull, he had me delete everything off of it to see if that helped.(it didn’t) So He said he was going to send me a box that I could send the Ipod to them and get it fixed. One thing that can’t be fixed is the fact that what ever they made it out of scratches like the dickens. I cleaned it with one of the micro-fiber sunglass cleaning things and it scrathced it. The material is supposidly more durriable in case you drop it. Its called Polycarbonite or something scientific. I say go back to non-scratching material and let the Ipod break when you drop it. I mean one little scratch and you cant make out the image on the screen. I am sure the problem with mine was not a scratch but a deffect in the LCD screen, one of the most important features of the Video Ipod. One more thing that kinda sucks is that the Ipod allows for video, but you cant put your DVD’s onto it. But after thats all done with and I get my Ipod fixed, I will have it in a goo 4 weeks. Four weeks because the back is engraved. If it is not engraved 5-10 days. Also the call I made was free for the one call after that, $49.95 per call. Apple your being called out!

MR. KING

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” August, 1963, in a speech to civil rights supporters at the March on Washington.

Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain, SNOW!

So for the past couple of weeks it has done nothing but rain. Staying just over the freezing point at either 35-42, then last night it snowed about 4 inches. The odd thing is that, I was up at 2 or 3 in the morning reading because I could not sleep. During that time I could here rain falling on the roof. Then at 8:30 in the morning Father opend the window and there was 4 inches of snow. I would really like to see the weather take sides. I mean it should either be warm and sunny, and cold and snowy. The rain has caused a considerable amount of wetness in the backyard. The lawn has now become one giant sponge. The ground is so wet that it can no longer contain the water. There are huge puddles on the lawn that are like 2 feet deep, but know they are frozen over and it snowd on them. Enough about the weather. So as you know or might not know, my finals are drawing nearer. With a final in everyclass it makes it considerable hard to concentrate on one thing. For the Spanish test we have 250 multiple choice questions, 150 vocab words that we have to translate either from spanish to english, or english to spanish. For Math, 200 question test, Biology, 267 mulitple, fill-in-the blank, and summary questions on about 12 chapters which cover evrything from cell structure and cell function to the ecology side of biology which involves naming all climates and biomes of the world. Then we have English, since 10th grade english seems to be a review of all 9th grade material, the teacher will not tell us whats on the test, she is not even reviewing, a mistake on her part. Next is my computer class, we have to make a 20 minute Power Point Presentation, present it to the class, and use what we had learned that year.which is nothing) Then there is Seminary, no one has discussed any sort of test or final so I am not sure. On a more none serious matter, Farley the Damn Dog and Etnie the Dog with an Attitude. Farley listens to me great and comes when called. We are now in the care of Etnie, Tasha;s dog. She will not listen to me or do one thing ask. She goes barking down the street and wont shut up at night, I have to say she is the only dog I hate and I am sure she hates me.(since she runs away from me) Farley is great as ever, although the winter has been rough on him, the constant rain, and temperature drops. I fell like he should be and inside dog just for one day. Well I am sure this blog was not as excitng as others but its all I had to write!

These are my Favorite Movie Lines!

“I sell car parts for the Amercian working man, because thats who I am and thats who I care about”-Wayn Zallensky-Tommy Boy

“We are the knights who say “KNI” you must bring us a shrubery”-Monty Phytons and the Holy Grail.

“Do you want to go back to where you came from; Unemployed in GREELAND!”- The Princess Bride.

“Hey stevo I was just blow drying my hair wasnt sure if you called okay see yah”- The cable Guy

” I hear name this fork Pits Burg Nelly”-Almost Heroes

“My name is Maximus Desimus Meridius, father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, I will get my vengence in this life or the next”-Gladiator

“I thought the rockies would be little more rockier, that John Denvers full of crap man.”- Dumb and Dumber.

” I hear your not using you paper for writing but for rolling dobies, Well you can do alot of dobie rolling when your living in a van down by the river”-Saturday Night Live Sketch-Motivation Speaker

“Watch out the Yellow ones dont stop”-Elf

“I am a rebel a rebel without a cause”- A Rebel without a Cause

“You got me straight trippen boo”-Bringing down the House

“I give you KONG!”- Peter Jacksons KING KONG

” I am Captain Jack Sparrow”- Pirates of the Caribbean.

I will post more in the futre!